From A Life of Freedom to A Life of Bondage (Muslim)

Before I even start writing this article, I’ll add some might feel offended by this, some might not, some may say I have no right, no place, to speak on this topic, or on the behalf of someone else, when I no so little, and I understand that because  I wouldn’t want anyone passing judgment or anything about me, my life, or my faith and beliefs with little information, so I will try to only say what I know, but most of this article could be most of what I feel.

So I apologize in advance…

I have a friend ( whom shall remain nameless) we were best friends in middle school, she was arab, and I don’t think at that time, I knew of her religion, because I mean who’s thinking about that stuff in 7-8 grade, really? But I just remember her as a person, her personality, how smart she was (4.0 student) I had no doubts about her or her future. Well my best friend went away later in the year of 7th grade, and I never knew why or where, until 8th grade when she came back. I started noticing that my friend had to start wearing a “hijab” which she was somewhat reluctant because she had never had to wear one, she was 14, and so at times she rebelled. She never discussed her trip to Pakistan ( which I later found out where she was), but for the most part my Best Friend was my best friend and I didn’t think anything of it. 

However, as we know sometimes some friendships are short lived, we graduated from 8th grade, and moved to HS, we kept in touch for a while but then lost touch, I ended hearing from a mutual friend our Freshman year of HS, that she had gotten married at 15, I was so blown away, and the spiritual side of her started to click in my mind, on her and her family beliefs from mine. 

It was until freshman year of College that I saw her again in Student Orientation, completely transferred, aside from her bubbly personality that never changed, she wore the  jilbab/abaya, now from head to foot, when I had been so used to seeing her in street clothes for so long it was different but somehow I understood, in while in college our friendship wasn’t the same we didn’t really talk only acknowledge each other if we saw one another on campus she was different, she had a new life, most of the times when I saw her on campus she was alone or only with her other Muslim friends. 

I remembered once thinking to myself wow I’m surprised she is even allowed to go to college, but then I had to check myself because I was passing judgement I was pondering on a subject I didn’t understand, that I didn’t know about, I knew nothing about her faith or her marriage and as a Christian myself I knew it wasn’t right to think that way, but I was glad she was in school, she was always so smart and intelligent. 

Well I ended up leaving WSU in winter of “11, and my last few days before Christmas break I remember seeing her walking across campus, it was freezing out, she didn’t see me, but she looked cold, but I didn’t go over, that would be the last time I saw her. I recently tried to search for her on FB but had no luck and found out from a mutual friend she had moved to Egypt and had two kids, I was shocked because one ( if anyone knew her seeing her with Kids she and I both would laugh) but motherhood has no respect of persons, it just happens and one must go with the flow, but I’m happy for her, and I hope she is happy too. 

The thing that bothered the most almost to tears was not that she was married, and at a young age, and to someone a bit older than her, or that she had two kids at age 23, but it was her place of residence. I am not the one all up on the news, and keeping up with foreign news/policies but I have heard and read about women not having many rights in Egypt, there is a current issue going over there now about wanting to change the age to be married from 18 to 13, and many women  are dealing with sexual violence, so in all it doesn’t seem like a pleasant place to live.

I guess I didn’t understand why anyone would want to leave the “Land of the Free” to take refuge in a place that doesn’t have equality for all, but I guess I have to understand that is part of the Muslim religion, someone correct me if I am wrong, that women lose some rights, or have to conduct themselves in a certain manner especially when married. So I guess I just was concerned that my friend already had “restrictions” within her marriage while here in the U.S and I guess those restrictions would just worsen living in Egypt….

I don’t know, and I guess I don’t understand, I pray that she was able to finish college while she is there if she hadn’t already, maybe one day I will see her again, I even hope to understand more about Muslim religion although I don’t believe I will ever accept it which is OK not many accept the Christian Faith… I guess I still don’t understand why a people would want to serve a good that puts limits/restrictions/inequality/barriers in theirs lives..but that is a whole other subject that I would never dable in

Just a thought….

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2 thoughts on “From A Life of Freedom to A Life of Bondage (Muslim)

  1. Spankalicious says:

    “I guess I didn’t understand why anyone would want to leave the “Land of the Free” to take refuge in a place that doesn’t have equality for all, but I guess I have to understand that is part of the Muslim religion…”

    Um no. Just no. You might find this an interesting read – http://www.islamicfaq.org/equality/

    It’s not the religion that’s the problem. As per all religions, it’s the people that enforce it. I come from a muslim family. I’m not married, not covered from head to foot and am queer. Muslims from all over the world have varying degrees of worship. Just like Christians, or Jews, or Buddhists.

    Why choose a different country over the one your in? Maybe she’s in an abusive relationship? Maybe she likes the culture over there? Maybe she has family? Maybe the sun sets in the east and rises in the west! You will never know why, however there’s a thousand and one logical reasons why this might have happened and it might have nothing absolutely to do with religion and everything to do with cultural beliefs and or customs. Or maybe it was just a choice they made. Believe it or not, not everyone wants to live in America 🙂

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